Ever since I can remember, I have struggled with believing in the lie that my voice doesn’t matter.
My twin sister Emily was more verbal and could communicate more smoothly than me. With having three older sisters plus my parents in the house, being heard was difficult. I was extremely shy. I struggled with knowing what to say and when to enter a conversation and was often talked over top of by another person in the family, so I struggled to sneak in words.
My twin and I were close. One day we mutually discovered that when we were together her communicating for me was so much easier. I would tell Emily my concerns or needs and she became my messenger, telling my parents how to help me. I was silent most of the time; avoiding speaking developed into an eventual fear of speaking up.
Emily and I had only two classes together from kindergarten to 12th grade.
When I was eventually diagnosed with autism in February, deciphering the struggle behind why I hadn’t flourished developmentally and socially in comparison to Emily became more clear.
Trying something new
This past summer I wanted to try something new and different and when Kingdom Teams (K-Teams) was brought to my attention, I wanted to heed God’s call. The description for the staff position — the idea of being a leader, let alone for groups of people — was daunting to me. Other aspects of the job such as moving from place to place to train and lead different K-Teams, and teaching discipleship lessons also evoked fear. I didn’t feel capable to fill the shoes of the role but I decided that obedience amidst fear was the better route to travel.
God was faithful
So I applied for the position and God was faithful. He met me where I was at for the time being and did great things in me, and through me, during the summer. God used me even in my doubt and fear. Since serving through K-Teams, I have become more comfortable with public speaking; realizing my story is valuable and worth sharing. I also grew through noticing others — being available to listen to and comfort those around me. K-Teams definitely stretched me out of my comfort zone. I am eternally grateful to have had this mission experience.
Amy Herr graduated from Conestoga Valley High School. She works at Oregon Dairy and is a member of Neffsville Mennonite Church. She has a passion for singing and music and hopes to pursue more mission opportunities in the future.